Young Man In The City

Feb 13, 2013 by

Young Man In The City

Visiting friends on my cross-country trip, I was delighted to talk with their 30 year old son who is now finishing up his degree in computer science, after already having an early “career” in the Air Force — and much more.

His focus is strong; his intent to be successful in the next step after graduation is clear. He had eyes for the waitress at the restaurant, but his intent to have a significant other that is “loving, committed, responsible, trustworthy and good sexual energy” is a bit impeded,. And it is not just about timing.

My sense is that his Enneagram profile is a 2 leaning to a 3:  that is, “Be Loved and Needed, leaning to Achiever.” So the best way for him to deal with stress … is to go to the 4, and “do his special thing.”

The Hardwired Unloving Belief at the root of the “delay” in having the right partner show up was first triggered by grandfather on father’s side at about age 16 months. The core belief here is “I am misbegotten … I don’t belong here.”

While these beliefs are no one’s fault (maybe we could blame our Soul), the first person to trigger them will add the “flavoring.” With a grandfather flavor, the belief will often be triggered later by people in the “boss’s boss” position … or in the case of finding the right partner, it could be that the woman’s family is not so welcoming.

He can cope with this belief by remembering to interrupt his instinctive sense that “they don’t want me here” and choose to add lots more “good feelings” to discovering the relationships with each person.

He also has the option to transform the belief (and others holding it in place), and shift to NEW, more loving personal truths. When he does this, his instinctive reactions will change, and automatically support the new beliefs.

He is on target for being successful in his career, and I wish him great success in developing a love-relationship, too.

 

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