Hip Young Woman
On my recent trip across country, from LA to Atlanta, I had the opportunity to interview a number of people … including the woman I’ll call Chelsea at the pizza restaurant south of Tucson.
This night it was her birthday, but she was scheduled to work. She said most of her friends were already busy that night, so it was “OK” to not have a party. She wore a tiara, a flashy apron — and looked great.
I could see how she might feel a good sense of celebration with her co-workers and customers. We all made a point of wishing her HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I sang for her and others joined in.
I asked if she had a boyfriend, and the answer was “no.” I asked if I could “check in” on some relationships she had … and found that she and her father are “Lover-Energy.” Yes — it is a good relationship, no problems, but she recognized that her emotional allegiance was to Dad. I offered that by “completing” that relationship, she would have a better chance at having a husband show up for her. She understood.
Completing the relationship doesn’t mean having to leave it. It does mean that you work to acknowledge the importance, and then shift the emotional allegiance. Coping can work, though Transformation is more reliable, especially when the person is stressed.
The Hardwired Unloving Beliefs that were affecting her instincts about having a boyfriend were rooted in “I am insignificant,” stuck in place with Hurt, Disgrace and Anger from age 14 months. By knowing this, she can more easily interrupt her instinctive thoughts, hold her head and shoulders up, and choose to feel her own significance.
If she transforms the sequence of codes that support this unloving belief, and changes to “I am significant,” and other more “loving” beliefs, her instincts will work FOR her — even when she is stressed.
Maybe by next birthday, she’ll be celebrating in a different way.